Babies and Girlfriends Don't Always Mix
by disapprovalApparent
Summary: Baby Quinntana and adult Brittberry HP/Glee crossover drabble. Quinn and Santana spend some time as infants. Brittana/Faberry.


**Author's Note;; Hey guys, sorry for disappearing for so long. I've been having assignments, exams, etc. Working on an update for GKEAF now, though. This drabble was to let me get back into the swing of writing again.**

* * *

><p>"What happened!"<p>

Rachel was, to say it shortly, utterly confused. Initially a little delighted, maybe, at the sight of two adorable toddlers standing in front of her, since who didn't find babies cute? But confusion overrode everything after a few moments, and she couldn't keep all her conflicting emotions out of her voice.

"I don't know! When they came out of Potions I thought they looked a little shorter but they told me that I was just taller and then I had to go because Professor Flitwick spelled my shoes to take me to class on time and Santana didn't give me a kiss before I left…" Brittany trailed off miserably, before concluding, "And now they are babies."

The blonde haired one was sucking on her fist tiredly in Rachel's arms while her dark haired counterpart was looking right at Rachel, brown eyes narrowed in concentration before she brushed the bigger Slytherin off as uninteresting, turning back to Brittany and placing a small palm gently upon her cheek. Brittany couldn't help but smile and snuggle little Santana onto her chest, swaying slightly from side to side in a soothing motion.

It didn't take long for Quinn to settle down into a nearly-nap with Santana following close behind, finally allowing Rachel to drop onto a couch and rest her tired feet. Toddlers were amazingly full of energy, and tended to run in opposite directions when let loose.

Her _girlfriend _was now, she estimated, about two or three years old, as was Santana. They had been completely swathed in their normal sized school robes and were screaming and struggling when Rachel first came upon them, and had only stopped after she transfigured their clothes to fit and brought them to the kitchens. The elves had been endlessly amused and helpful, giving the two children frozen waffles that they happily gnawed on until Brittany showed up, seeming to have an internal compass when it came to locating her Slytherin girlfriend.

Once Santana caught sight of the tall blonde, she had tossed her gooey waffle into Quinn's face and ran right for Brittany, arms outstretched and giggling adorably. Brittany had smiled and swept baby Santana into her arms, throwing her in the air and catching her again before remarking that she didn't know Rachel and Quinn had kids.

She had been slightly intrigued (but mostly befuddled) to find out that the two children were hers and Rachel's girlfriends.

Quinn hadn't been too fazed, eagerly cramming Santana's discarded treat into her mouth along with her own and happily gumming away, causing Rachel to shriek and flap her arms and rant about how Quinn obviously didn't know what hygiene was, _and_ how it was going to have to be the first thing she needed to teach the blonde baby.

Then she seemed to realize what she had said- namely, that her _girlfriend_ was a _baby_-, and proceeded to sag, both mentally and bodily.

"Could it be a charm?" Brittany speculated, gazing down at the sleeping Santana in her arms and stroking a finger along her chubby cheek. "Or…"

"A potion?" Rachel ventured, brows furrowing. "We were supposed to brew an aging draught today, but I had to skip-"

"They should be like, super old then," Brittany frowned, "And Quinn doesn't mess up her potions."

At the sound of her name, Quinn glanced up at the taller (and older) blonde, gargling happily and smiling toothily at everyone around her. The waffle was now a sodden and disgusting mess, abandoned on the floor where an unfortunate soul might step in it.

Picking her girlfriend up, Rachel heaved a sigh before muttering, "To the library." It lacked her usual enthusiasm, seeing as she usually raised her hand and pointed with much gusto, trilling that libraries were her _favourite_ place ever because it was full of information and was one of the few places left unsullied by students.

Brittany hadn't the heart to tell her that Santana and her had already gotten to it in their fifth year.

/\/\/\

One hour in, and Rachel was ready to throw in the towel. It had only been due to a bit of superb wandless and non-verbal magic from her, and Brittany's amazing athletic and ninja skills, that Quinn hadn't landed on Madam Pince's head after she _launched herself off a bookcase_. How the baby managed to get herself up there was a complete mystery.

At least until they witnessed Quinn _levitate_ herself up onto the table so that she could see what they were up to.

Staring at the books, Quinn frowned, lines appearing all over her chubby face as she pointed at Rachel's face and said, clearly, "No."

This development pleased Brittany.

"They can talk?" She asked brightly, to which Quinn waved a fist and said 'no' in a louder voice.

Santana, who had awoken a while ago but was content in cuddling with Brittany, bounced awake and announced, "Yah."

"No."

"Yah."

"No!"

"Yah!"

"Silencio!"

Everyone went completely silent and boggled at Rachel, who had her head in her hands and was rubbing her throbbing temple.

"Maybe we should talk to Professor Snape?" Brittany ventured meekly, hugging Santana closer to her, as though for protection. Protection for whom, it was unclear.

Big brown eyes slowly opened, then narrowed in the Hufflepuff girl's direction. Brittany nearly squeaked.

"Asking Professor Snape," Rachel groaned, letting her forehead hit the table with an audible _thump_. "Why didn't I think of that?"

At the sound of Snape's name, Santana wiggled, mouth opening to let out a muted cry. Quinn's face scrunched up and she began silently bawling.

"You don't like Snape, do you?" Brittany pouted at Santana, who sniffled and patted her on the cheek gently with a chubby hand. "He's scary and keeps threatening to feed me my own potions."

/\/\/\

Yet another hour later, after a frightening interaction with Professor Snape, the four of them were in the prefect's bathroom, cheerfully half-filling up the huge bath and pouring in a vial of the clear liquid that their teacher had (reluctantly) handed over.

Then, they dropped their respective girlfriends in, taking care not to get any of the water on themselves.

The result:

Two spluttering, confused, utterly naked _teenage_ girls flailing at the water, then at each other when they noticed their state of undress.

Without explanation, Brittany and Rachel drained the bath, then filled it up fully before stripping and launching themselves at the still befuddled girls and pressing kisses to their (Sadly? Thankfully? Who knows) non-baby faces.

"I love you as a baby," Brittany told Santana seriously, "But don't do it again, okay?"

Rachel, on the other hands, was busy lecturing Quinn on her rules of hygiene, and also: "If we ever have a child and you _vanish_ on me, I'm going to hunt you down and turn you into a canary.

"Also, I'm having the children."

"What? Why?" Confused Quinn was confused.

"They'd never make it past infancy otherwise. Did you know you tried to use Madam Pince's head as a _landing pad_?"


End file.
